Current Recovery (Sunday, 23 December 2007)
Day 394 – “Take a deep breath”
It is actually amusing if you think about it. I’m in my late 20’s and for my entire life I’ve been under my parents’ roof. They cared for me, cooked for me, cleaned and ironed for me. They gave me what I needed and even sometimes what I didn’t need. Even when the idiotic things I did got me in trouble with the law more than once my parents were still there to bail me out and help me through it. It is safe to say that most of my life has been smooth sailing with endless help from my parents… that is of course, until now!
I got this news a while back but first had to make sure it wasn’t just talk and had to inform my friends and family before I posted it here on the blog. I am being transferred to another part of the company. It is a chance of a lifetime really, one I won’t easily get again. The line of work is right up my alley and it is a brilliant opportunity to show what I’m capable off. The catch is it is almost 400 km’s from where I am staying now! That is 400 km’s from everything I know, love and have grown comfortable with.
The important thing however is not so much the distance as the fact that I will be staying on my own! For the first time in my life I will be out from underneath my parent’s roof. No longer under their guidance or their supervision. Some would say it is about time and I guess I would have to agree that not only do I need to experience life on my own with more responsibility but I need to give my parent’s some of their life back. On the other hand it is painfully obvious that I am not an average 27 year old and staying on my own brings obstacles to my life that most can not even imagine.
One thing is for sure, this can be the greatest thing to ever happen in my life. This is a perfect opportunity to find out who and what I am and where I am going with my life. It is also a recipe for complete disaster and if managed incorrectly will lead to my downfall in many ways. The next few months will make out a critical part of how the rest of my life will go and I know that many people will spend their days holding their breath watching how I handle it.
Come to think of it… it is not so amusing after all!
Day 394 – “Take a deep breath”
Day 392 – “Whooo… that feels good!”
Current Recovery (Friday, 21 December 2007)
Day 392 – “Whooo… that feels good!”
Somebody left this comment on one of my blog entries. I decided to post it after one of my friends pretty much said the same things to me today. Seems that most communication my way is now done in screaming and while I hope anybody don’t think screaming is going to make a positive difference, I guess I have to respect that they have to get rid of their anger in some way.
Most people in my life feel like this I guess… some have gotten around to tell me, others just haven’t had the chance yet. After the things I have recently done I can’t argue with it any of it. I can’t even ask for forgiveness or say I feel helpless because I’ll just be accused of trying to get sympathy.
I wanted to sensor the swear words below but it would have pissed me off if half the paragraph was blacked out. Here is what Amanda said after my blog post “The Last Road”
“This is fucking stupid. this whole thing, this whole fuckiness of a life that people call a fucking life is stupid and pointless ‘cuz it all sucks, and it’s just gonna keep on sucking and there's only sometimes happy moments in between. You know what junkies do? They ruin their fuckin’ lives and then they proceed to fuck everyone elses up too. They make people cry over every fucking little thing, and hate themselves for not being enough and want to die. That’s what the fuck they do. They don't care about them FUCKING selves, they don't care about their families, they don't care about their fucking 11 year old daughters 3000 fucking miles away getting poked in the butt by some dude. they don't fucking care, because wooooo that feels good. fuck ‘em all.”
