Day 150 - "5 months"

Monday, 23 April 2007
Day 150 / 74 - "5 months"

Today is Day 150 in My Heroin Recovery. It was 5 months ago I started this blog and this road to recovery and I have never looked back. I wish that every human being caught in the clutches of heroin can have the strength to overcome this – sooner than later!

I told you before one of my friends passed away from heroin. Last week, it was 7 months ago that he passed away. My 5 months in recovery feels like ages. Like I’ve been living 5 years in this time trying to fix everything and slowly get my life back. Contrasting to me, his parents see their 7 months as ‘just the other day their son passed away’.

I wish that his death would have meant more to me at the time it happened. It could have saved me two months and thousands of rands in drug money. But I think that in the end his death did have a role in my heroin recovery – even if it was a bit late!

There are a lot of reasons why I’m still continuing this road. I do it for myself. Personally, I don’t think I can live that life again. Looking back on those days I realize just how meaningless my life was. How every minute of every day was there only so that I could score again. Work became a means to make money to buy heroin. Life became minutes and hours counting down to my next hit of heroin.

I do it for my parents. If I were given another 2 lifetimes I would not be able to repay them for everything they have done for me. I put them through hell at times when I was too high to care what was going on around me. For them, I’ll do it any day.

And to people like my friend that passed away and to his parents. Their son didn’t have a second chance like I did. I got a chance to do it for everybody out there that never made it that far. The least I can do with my chance is use it!

Thank you all for listening to my story. For the support you’ve all given me. To the comments you give me when I need to hear I’ll make it and that things will be okay again. I do this for you, for those of you that read today perhaps with a better understanding towards addiction, for my friends, for my family, for my parents and still above all – I do this for myself!