"9 Lives" - Part 1

9 Lives - Part 1
This post is called ‘9 Lives’ and is a great test in creativity. It is a description of where 9 different people are at 9 different times during the day. Every person has a different life with different problems and different concerns. I first saw the idea on Marc Olmstead’s blog. Since then a mutual friend, Alan has done his own version of ‘9 lives’ with a slight twist. Here is my interpretation… 04:13 My name is Simon. I work at a popular club in Johannesburg and I just got home. My legs hurt from all the standing and my head feels like it is about to explode. I normally work until 7 or 8 in the mornings but we closed early for a change. I count the money in my pocket and realize I stood all night for a mere R40.00. I walk up to the bedroom only to find my girlfriend Tiffany in bed with another man. 06:25 I’ve been snoozing the alarm clock for the past 25 minutes. I’m lying in bed and it is exactly where I want to stay today. I’m a 33 year old salesman for a paper company and I hate my job. I hate my life. I take a sip from the orange juice I left on the counter the previous day and stare at my reflection in the mirror. I think to myself how nobody will miss me if I don’t go in to the office today. In fact, I wonder if anybody will miss me if I don’t go on with my life at all! 10:38 The waitress looks at me funny as I send back the eggs she just placed in front of me. She obviously doesn’t know the difference between baked and scrambled. I am definitely not going to tip her, as I don’t reward incompetence. I am a 39 year old man that started my own business 7 years ago. I have made a success of it, because I reward those that will be successful and get rid of the links that make a company weak. 10:39 I toss the plate on the counter and see the baked egg slide onto the table. I just came from an unhappy customer that wanted scrambled eggs. I heard him say he wanted scrambled, but my thoughts have been somewhere else today. I am a 29 year old single mother of a beautiful 10 year old boy. His principle phoned this morning after he started a fight at school and I haven’t been able to concentrate since then. My slave driving boss refuses to let me go to the school – and I need the money too desperately to quit. 13:47 The ATM swallowed my card. It is the 4th time it is happened with this card and every time it is a mission to get it back. I don’t have time today. I have an important business meeting at 14:00 and I’m going to be late if I don’t go now. My boss told me I have to get this contract. I am a 24 year old man and after being with the company 5 years, he still sees me as a weak link. I need this contract to prove to him I am still an asset. The traffic is terrible and I fear I might not make it. 14:12 I am a 39 year old white male sitting at a deserted coffee shop in Menlyn. The cold wind blows in through the windows and I angrily look over my shoulder at the door. I had an appointment at 14:00 but the man hasn’t showed yet. I haven’t had a good day so far. Tiffany, the girl I have been seeing ,turned out to have a boyfriend and he caught us in bed this morning. He flipped and threatened to kill me if I didn’t leave immediately. 17:06 My favourite tune is playing on the radio. I am a 31 year old white female and music is my life. I am a teacher at a primary school and usually my day is uneventful. Today I was shocked to see one of my top students in a fight at school. Timmy is a bright mind but I fear his waitress mother is not home enough to give him the attention he needs. If we don’t do something to stop it – he might take the wrong path completely. 19:46 I am a 34 year old married woman living in a medium house in Northcliff. My husband is on his way home from a meeting he had this afternoon. He has been distant for a while and for moments I feared he would leave me. He says work is just stressful and I try and support him as much as I can. We’ve been trying for a baby for a while. I went to the doctor today after suspecting I might be pregnant – and he confirmed it. 22:01 It’s just after 10 and I’m finally on my way home. I’m a medical doctor and I’ve been on duty since 12 last night. Most days my work is very rewarding. A woman came in today for a pregnancy test and I had the privilege of telling her she is expecting. Not all of it is good, though. I saw an old school friend of mine in the emergency room today. He tried to commit suicide this morning and after a lengthy battle to save his life he was pronounced dead. My sister and I talked about him just last week, maybe try and set up a blind date between the two. She is a school teacher and rarely spends her time with adults. The company would have done her some good… perhaps it would have done him more good!

 

 

Day 188 - "Behind door number 3"

Thursday, 31 May 2007
Day 188 - "Behind door number 3"

The father of one of the people that work with me passed away this morning. His wife (her mother) passed away last year about this time, and since then his health and mind has been slowly fading and fading. He has basically been eating away at the highly regarded image his children and family had of him before all of this started. So, when we got the news this morning some people were thinking perhaps it is better this way.

The subject is debatable and I’m sure anybody can come up with positive or negatives points to support the issue. My focus today is obviously more towards addicts.

Through my time as a heroin addict most hoped I would ‘see the light’ and kick the habit. And even though at times it looked as if it would be my fate forever, most knew deep down inside I would eventually conquer the daemon. But there are a lot of heroin addicts out there of whom we cannot make this positive assessment. Some will try but they will fail continuously until the day heroin finally wins in death. These people will slowly poison themselves and their families destroying the relationship they once had, causing restless nights and unbearable days.

I’d like to think I am a good example that people can change and that heroin doesn’t need to be victorious in ones life. Regrettably, not everybody is that lucky. So, the question is… when is enough, enough? When do you give up hoping? When do you give up caring? When do you reach the point where death is the better option?

Day 186 - "Recurring Compulsion"

Tuesday, 29 May 2007
Day 186 - "Recurring Compulsion"

The subject of addiction came up the office yesterday. I don’t know if I have specifically mentioned this before, but I do not smoke. Even though I have had a cigarette or two, but in my lifetime probably not finished three, this is probably the one thing that I haven’t gotten addicted to.

Almost everything that I have undertaken in my life has led to unhealthy abuse and overdoing. From drinking to gambling to all kinds of drugs. I get offered a cigarette very often, especially by people that know my heroin history and when I turn it down I have to smile at the amazement in their eyes. How can a heroin addict not have been a smoker?

I must honestly say that I am very glad I am and have never been a smoker. Seeing how a lot of people ‘need’ their cigarettes on a daily basis reminds me too much of a life of dependence.

Even coffee came up as a major addiction in the office, especially now in the winter months. I usually need my cup of caffeine, preferably two by the time I’m at the office, before I face the world. It reminds me a lot of my life in 2006. Every morning when I opened my eyes the very first thought that popped in was: I am hurting, I want heroin. Every single second I spent in the house was a count down until I could phone the dealer. And getting my daily fix wasn’t something I needed before I could face the world; it was a necessity to face life.

So, I’ll drink my cup of coffee in the mornings and on a bad morning, maybe six. I’ll know that it is a small addiction and probably a little unhealthy. But I won’t be counting the seconds until I leave the house. I won’t be phoning the dealer as soon as I exit. I won’t be addicted to heroin!

Day 185 - "Fighting Viciously"

Monday, 28 May 2007
Day 185 - "Fighting Viciously"

On Wednesday that passed I was in recovery 6 months. And although it still feels like yesterday that ‘heroin addict’ was an appropriate description for me, it also feels like years have passed since then. I remember sitting at this exact same spot, typing on the same computer and every word that appeared on the screen I wrote with hope that I would beat it, and with every line that I finished the doubt started setting in. To imagine a time back then where I was no longer a heroin addict – seemed nearly impossible.

A lot of things have changed since then, not only in my personal life, but in my work life. Although it is not something I am actively doing at the moment or pursuing viciously I have started to submit my CV to a few places. I love my job very much and for more than 6 years I have been very happy with the company I am at. But in all due respect to my bosses, in the end it is still a dead-end job. I am not earning a lot of money and there is no chance of working myself into a higher position with more pay.

I realize perhaps now, after inspecting the state of my life, more than ever that I need to look after myself. I need to make sure I have a future somewhere. One of the places I have sent my CV is in Johannesburg/Pretoria which raised a whole other series of problems and questions. The most important one really is whether I’d be ready to move away from home and somewhere on my own. And that is a very difficult one to answer!

Six months, although to me a huge achievement, is not very long in recovery. Then again when will be long enough. I don’t know if that longing for heroin inside will ever go away. I have surprised myself and a whole lot of other people with how well I’ve been doing the past few months. I think I’ve shown a lot of strength, even if I say so myself. So, I know one thing for sure. I will not let heroin into my life again without a hell of a fight!