Saturday, 30 December 2006 - Day 37/19 - "Go big or Go Home (Part 1)"
Go big or go home. When it came to partying – that was our slogan. Too many nights started with exactly that phrase. And once it started it didn’t end until we passed out from exhaustion or alcohol. Either we were doing it properly or we weren’t doing it all. And of course, properly usually meant doing it with drugs.
Last New Year was no different. We decided the day before New Years Eve that we were going to take the almost 400km trip to go to a rave. I was out of my mind with excitement. It was years since I went to a party that big. I went to 4 raves of that size years before and each one was bigger and better than the last.
Since, my friend GM wasn’t going with me to the rave, we decided to have our own little New Year party the night before New Year’s Eve. We invited our friend heroin and he kept us busy until the wee hours of the morning. I spend most of the next day in the car drinking energy drinks preparing for the rave and recovering from the heroin of the night before…
By the way, for those that follow. I’ve been clean for 19 consecutive days today. A new record for me! Part 2 continues...
Day 37/19 - "Go big or Go Home (Part 1)"
Day 36/18 - "Subsequently"
Friday, 29 December 2006 - Day 36/18 - "Subsequently"
One of the main messages I have been trying to get across through the blog is not only understanding towards the disease which is addiction but that it is everybody’s story. This is not a story of a person you don’t know or have never met. This is not a story of a character in a book you’ve never read. It is a story about your friend, perhaps your best friend, your brother, your father – you! It is a story about all of us, because we all know somebody this relates to.
I started writing the blog as a diary of some sort. A journal of the recovery I was planning to make. I started sharing it because I knew if there were people out there watching me I’d think twice before taking again. I continue sharing because I realize there are a lot of people out there that don’t understand. And to be totally frank with you, I, myself, don’t understand some of what I’ve done – so how could anybody else!
This blog is still my diary. I look back on the days many times and I want to cry when I read it. I can still feel the pain and hurt of myself and my family in every word that I wrote on that particular day. I can still feel the underlying doubt and negativity that I felt almost determined that I couldn’t do it and I wasn’t strong enough.
This blog is still my story. A story I gladly share with as much honesty as I can. I have been flooded with e-mails and messages of people that have come to understand, even if it is just a little, about their and other people’s addiction.
2007 is just around the corner. In this New Year I will continue to share my stories. I hope to keep it as true and honest as I have been and that you in the very least find a little bit of understanding in them. I do them most importantly for myself, for my family, my friends – and every somebody out there, this relates to!
Taking a break!
Merry Christmas to all the readers out there. I will be taking a break from normal posting from 24 December 2006 to 28 December 2006. Watch out for the next post on 29 December 2006 as I start celebrating the New Year!
Sunday, 24 December 2006 - Day 31/13
Monday, 25 December 2006 - Day 32/14
Tuesday, 26 December 2006 - Day 33/15
Wednesday, 27 December 2006 - Day 34/16
Thursday, 28 December 2006 - Day 35/17
