Day 36/18 - "Subsequently"

Friday, 29 December 2006 - Day 36/18 - "Subsequently"

One of the main messages I have been trying to get across through the blog is not only understanding towards the disease which is addiction but that it is everybody’s story. This is not a story of a person you don’t know or have never met. This is not a story of a character in a book you’ve never read. It is a story about your friend, perhaps your best friend, your brother, your father – you! It is a story about all of us, because we all know somebody this relates to.

I started writing the blog as a diary of some sort. A journal of the recovery I was planning to make. I started sharing it because I knew if there were people out there watching me I’d think twice before taking again. I continue sharing because I realize there are a lot of people out there that don’t understand. And to be totally frank with you, I, myself, don’t understand some of what I’ve done – so how could anybody else!

This blog is still my diary. I look back on the days many times and I want to cry when I read it. I can still feel the pain and hurt of myself and my family in every word that I wrote on that particular day. I can still feel the underlying doubt and negativity that I felt almost determined that I couldn’t do it and I wasn’t strong enough.

This blog is still my story. A story I gladly share with as much honesty as I can. I have been flooded with e-mails and messages of people that have come to understand, even if it is just a little, about their and other people’s addiction.

2007 is just around the corner. In this New Year I will continue to share my stories. I hope to keep it as true and honest as I have been and that you in the very least find a little bit of understanding in them. I do them most importantly for myself, for my family, my friends – and every somebody out there, this relates to!