Day 208 – “New Obstacles”

Wednesday, 20 June 2007
Day 208 – “New Obstacles”

It has been a while since I’ve sat down and told you how it is going. Hopefully by my previous postings you could see that I have made a huge improvement up to date. My life is slowly showing signs of returning to a state of normal it hasn’t seen in a very long time. Of course, each day brings new obstacles…

I went for an interview on Monday. It came a bit unexpected which left me a bit unprepared. It has been over 7 years since I last sat down for an interview and I was a bundle of nerves to put it lightly. Still, it appears it didn’t go too badly and they’ll let me know if I make the short list.

All of us at the office realize that I can leave at any moment. So, my work needs to be divided between other people who need to be taught. Between sending out my CV, going for interviews, completing my work and teaching others my job – I have been swamped and stressed much more than usual.

And even though I don’t always consciously notice it, these little things mull in the back of my mind making me even more stressed. On a very bad day I do still find it difficult to cope because my body and mind wants that total silence it got from heroin. You’ll remember I stated it as a major reason why I relapsed last time. I just wanted to get rid of the noise in my head, my heart and my body!

A lot can be said for time. Time heals a lot of problems. If I had the same week a few months ago I would have been running towards heroin. I feel empowered in a sense by conquering these bad times and not just giving up like I would have done originally. So, I guess even though I am facing new obstacles in my life these days I am definitely handling them better!