Day 199 - "To tell or not to tell!"

Monday, 11 June 2007
Day 199 - "To tell or not to tell!"

I’ve been following the blog of Travis Lane for a while now. I try not to miss an entry and always find it interesting to read. He recently revealed a secret to his new girlfriend and I guess to everybody in blogworld. She was shocked at the news and as far as I know hasn’t spoken to him since.

As I mentioned before my best friend in Pretoria and my ex also in the Pretoria area doesn’t know about my heroin addiction and recovery. It is difficult to reveal something important like this to a valued friend over the phone, so I’m waiting until I see them in August. But I am really nervous about telling them because as Travis also proved on his blog, you don’t always know how things will turn out and how people will react.

On the one hand we’ve been friends for years and we all know each other very well. Something like this should not really come between a friendship like that. On the other hand they mean too much for me to take that chance. The same question arises when I meet new people. At this very moment I have a new friend who doesn’t know about the heroin part of my life yet. I don’t really know when the best time is to reveal something like this.

Let’s face it! My lifestyle is still not that of a free man yet. I have limits, rules and curfews. I am checked up on and have to report back very often. These actions, especially for a 26 year old man, will seem very suspicious to somebody that doesn’t know my story.

I find qualities like communication and honestly very important both in friendships and in relationships. I am not a big fan of starting a friendship on a bunch of lies, deception or complete silence. Still, this is a delicate issue by any person’s assessment. Do, I tell people I meet about this part of my life when I meet them, only when we know each other much better or not at all?