Day 262 – “Thinking the worst”

My Heroin Recovery (Monday, 13 August 2007)
Day 262 – “Thinking the worst”

His reaction to the news was somewhat surprising. I gathered from those few moments that he still cared about me… well, I still cared about him, but too much happened back then and since then for it to ever work again.

When I told him about my Heroin Addiction he was shocked. I am not really the ideal poster boy for heroin addiction but then again, who really is. A lot of feelings were thrown around: disappointment towards me, anger towards the other people involved and after all that, still support towards a friend he hasn’t seen in over 2 years.

I keep thinking that people will think the worst of me when they find out I was a heroin addict. Let’s face it, it is not really on the list of morally righteous acts to tick off before one dies.

The blogs and the blog entries from the beginning have really placed me in a public light (if I could put it that way). My friends and family, regardless of who or where they are, get the sometimes unpleasant details without ever speaking to me or seeing me. To some, the images created gives them nightmares and instigates prayers that I will recover from this safely.

Facebook, I guess is much worse, because even though blogging is public, it is still something that people have to either learn or happen upon. On facebook, you only need my name and my whole life is laid out there as an advertisement for anybody to see. The blogging section, though, is only visible to my added friends.

Regardless of who reads the blog and where, I have decided to continue with it as always. The rules have changed a bit, but in the end you will still get the honest recovery of a heroin addict – despite that of what anybody might think!