Day 29/11 - "If Olives made you High"

Friday, 22 December 2006 - Day 29/11 - "If Olives made you High"

Something snapped that night. Right there, right then – I wanted heroin. I took twice that morning and it was starting to wear off. I could feel the slight hints of withdrawal setting in and my brain was making plans to score again.

I was at a concert with my mom and dad. It was one of the only times in the past year that they could go out. It seemed like they could trust me and that I was clean – but of course I wasn’t. I had been using the whole week, stealing money and sneaking the heroin in as much as I could. Every day came with new hopes that tomorrow would be the day, the day that I quit, the day I stayed clean. But that day would always be tomorrow and right now – I wanted heroin.

I phoned my friend, GM. He was my saviour in times like these: times when my movements were being watched too closely or times when I didn't have access to my car. There were many times that he picked me up and we took a drive through town to go get heroin or crack or whatever else was available. This time he wasn't answering, he was probably doing what I was supposed to be doing - withdrawing from heroin.

So, I didn't have transport, my friend couldn't help me and the closest dealer was 2km away. With only a few minutes to spare before anybody would notice I was gone I made a run for it. I ran the +/- 2kms in just under 4 minutes. I don’t think I ever ran that fast before and it was by far the most exercise I got in a year. What went through my mind or how I thought I could pull it off is still a mystery to me!

My parents phoned. It had been 20 minutes since I disappeared from the concert and I was in trouble. I was 2kms away, sore from the running and high. Needless to say the night turned out a disaster. It was only the next day that I looked back at the events of the night and I realized just what I had done. If I stopped to think about any of what I was doing I would have realized how absurd it was and stopped. But of course, drug addicts aren’t famous for their clear rational thinking!

There were many nights that we travelled long distances for our drugs. Sometimes we drove to towns 60kms away, sometimes 4-5 times a night just to get drugs. When we wanted drugs the distance, the effort and the wait didn’t matter at all. It reminded me of one night a friend had a craving for olives. Nobody wanted to drive to the nearest shop to buy some. But if it had been ecstasy or cocaine we would have been in the car already speed dialing the dealer. Then again… if olives made you high perhaps we would have done the same!