Day 303 – “The not so pre-written blog”

My Heroin Recovery (Sunday, 23 September 2007)
Day 303 – “The not so pre-written blog”

It is Sunday morning and as promised here is my ‘not pre-written’ blog for the week. Or, after some criticism this past week, let me re-phrase… here is my less pre-written blog than the rest. As I mentioned many times before my blogs are not just a spur of the moment bunch of words written directly on 24.com and posted seconds afterwards. My pixilated words and sentences refreshes at 60 hertz on 17” 96DPI screen (the geek in me had to do that) until I feel ready to post them.

Some days I would have liked to wait a bit longer delaying truths that would again upset so many people, but they still made it on here. Other days, of course, I was all to happy to press the ‘Submit Post’ button that would reveal the good things to the world. And as ThisIsMe (my good friend) pointed out in one of the comments, this is the way I’ve always written.

The pre-written blogs at the time I wrote them couldn’t be posted, for many reasons, yes reasons… reasons as simple as I wasn’t ready yet and reasons as difficult as to still tell my family about it. I was asked how anybody could trust me now and ‘when did I start lying to the public’. While I apologize for not being able to post this sooner the intention was never to hide it from anybody and I would hope that every blog post you’ve read up to now would prove my commitment to honesty on the blog.

Perhaps we live in a world where people fake addiction or suicide to get attention. Perhaps you know somebody like that, I don’t! My best friends (who responded to some comments during the week) and who has been with me through every step of this recovery, knows that I am not one of those people. My family scattered across the country who comfort my parents when it is going bad, knows I am not one of those people. Even the people that read this blog know through my experiences that I am not one of those people.

Of course, not everything that was said in the comments about the entries on the three sites they are posted, was criticism. Same actually gave some helpful suggestions and comforting words. There are still loads more to tell about a story which is still continuing every day. Yes, they’ve already been written but it doesn’t make it lies or for that matter any less true. It doesn’t even make it easier to post them, but I believe they still have a purpose to me and to somebody, anybody out there – so I will continue to post them!