Day 53/35 - "Gillmore Boys"

Monday, 15 January 2007 - Day 53/35 - "Gillmore Boys"

I met somebody a few days ago. I’ve been trying for two days to get the words to describe my feelings. I’m totally infatuated! We spend the whole night talking. It was like I was doing a scripted conversation in a “Gilmore Girls” episode. It was almost rhythmic, like a ball bouncing back and forth between us… each one with something to say.

Yes, I’m totally infatuated! It should imply that it is something romantic but… regrettably it is not. I won’t get the fairy tale ending just yet, for several reasons: sexual preference, an existing relationship and of course, the ever dangling heroin addiction.

I’m not supposed to be involved with anybody. Perhaps I’ve watched too many movies but I think I’m supposed to get a plant first. If the plant doesn’t die I can get a pet and if the pet lives I can move onto human beings. Unfortunately, I’ve never been good with keeping plans alive – so it is going to take a while!

My previous relationships were rocky. There were a lot of ups and downs and it was emotional at the best of times. I try and imagine a relationship in the future and wonder how I would react to those same situations now. Since, the other night won’t result in a relationship the best case scenario will be friends. But it will be friends with a very talented, interesting, funny, creative and intelligent human being.

My choices are much more responsible and grownup now. Any situation that could potentially let me even think of taking heroin again is totally avoided. So, even if cupid’s arrow hit us both the other night and we fell madly in love – I’m pretty sure having a relationship would be something I avoided!