Day 117 – “72 hours clean (Part 1 of 3)"

Tuesday, 20 March 2007
Day 117 / 40 (59) – “72 hours clean (Part 1 of 3)”

We all wanted it. Each one of us more badly than the next. Right there, right then I would have given anything. I would have taken, stolen, sold anything just to get it. To feel that overwhelming feeling of content rush over me. All of us wanted it… but nobody said a thing!

It was Friday afternoon. Fridays didn’t signal ‘weekend’ to us. It was the start of detox. We entered every single weekend more determined than ever that this time would be it. This would be the time we kicked this habit and heroin would never be in control of us again. To us Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays were spent fighting the daemons, trying to stay away from the dealer, trying to get clean.

I took off from work early. I was hurting badly. I last took heroin the night before and I knew in a short while my body would be aching so much that I could hardly walk. Nobody knew yet, so I had to pretend that everything was okay. Sure, I had the occasional off-day and they could see I’m not feeling well, but I could always blame it on something. In a few minutes I would be withdrawing and everybody would see something was wrong.


I got together with my friends. We all decided to stay together the afternoon and look after each other. We had no medicine and withdrawing cold turkey was dangerous. We sat in the lounge watching television. I can’t remember what was on. I don’t think I even knew then. The thoughts of taking heroin were screaming in the room. Dead silence but deafening screaming for heroin. Everybody wanted it but nobody was going to be the instigator. Not this time! All of us wanted it… but nobody said a word!

Part 2 continues tomorrow Thursday...