Day 234 – “Rumor has it!”

Monday, 16 July 2007
Day 234 – “Rumor has it!”

I remember thinking to myself how it couldn’t be that bad! It is funny really, when I think about it now: For some reason I thought millions of heroin addicts around the world were just not trying hard enough! A lot of things made me take that first day and for the life of me I cannot remember most of them – but I do know I wasn’t scared of it. I really believed heroin would never get control over me.

I think it is probably the easiest the first time you try to quit because you mistakenly believe that in a few hours it will all be over and that you’ll go on with your life as if nothing happened. You go through the first few hours of pain hoping it will all be over soon, but it only gets worse and worse as the days progress.

When I finally passed a few days of not taking heroin I realized that the fight was only starting. The physical pain, although still there, was much better. The other withdrawal symptoms however were only starting. The rebuilding of a life and relationships, which took no time to destroy, was only now about to start.

Some say I had the strength and the determination to get through those days and months leading up to today. Some say it is because I made the choices that others still need to make. Generally most believe I wouldn’t have done it without my family and friends supporting me. Maybe they are all right; maybe I was just a lucky one.

There are a people that weren’t as lucky. I have known a few heroin addicts over the time I took heroin. Some I have lost contact with completely and I don’t know if they made it or not. Some have lost their lives much too early. Others are literally on borrowed time and still they can’t seem to stop. I’ve heard rumors from more than one person over the past few days that one of these people, who I believe is still taking heroin, is not doing very well. In fact, according to the rumors not good at all.

We were good friends at a stage, but heroin did, as it does with everything else in one’s life, destroy that friendship. We can never be friends again, not while he uses and regrettably not even if he stops. I just wish today that he would stop, and if he has stopped that he will continue to stay clean – before his time runs out and he becomes a statistic.