Day 13 - "Detoxing"

Wednesday, 6 December 2006 - Day 13 - "Detoxing"

People have a lot of different views about one of the medications I have been taking. It is really a miracle but expensive schedule 6 drug and it lessens the withdrawal symptoms you experience from opioid detox (heroin). I have been on and off from this medication since I originally started the detox adventure 8 months ago.

I don’t want to get too technical about it, but it contains something which tests positive on drug tests. So, as long as I am on this medicine I can’t go for a test. Even though its primary purpose is to treat opioid addiction – it can still cause dependence and withdrawal if you should suddenly stop. I made a decision this weekend and stopped taking it completely. The right way, I guess, would have been to reduce the dose otherwise you’ll withdraw from that as well.

I have been really irritable and having muscle pains and leg cramps since I stopped. The withdrawal is not nearly as bad as heroin withdrawal but it tends too last longer. It takes me forever to get to work in the mornings on the slow pace I can manage. But I realized that as long as I was on this medicine I was just postponing the inevitable withdrawal from yet another drug.

I am going for a test next week, probably Monday. It will be the first test I take that will (if all goes well) test negative. It will be the biggest Christmas gift I give to myself and my family in 2006. They are still not convinced that I am telling the truth or that I am completely clean – but I can’t blame them. They and I have had this conversation many times. Every time I convince them I am not taking anything and then they find out I’ve been going mad with the drug taking.

It will be the first of many tests to follow to insure I stay on the right path. But they are tests I will gladly take to prove to myself and my family that I am recovering!