Day 62/44 – “Isle C – Lives on special”

Wednesday, 24 January 2007 – Day 62/44 – “Isle C – Lives on special”

I went shopping this weekend to get some groceries for my mother. The only time I used to go shopping was on my Woolies card buying overly expensive items for myself I didn’t need. I used to buy a lot of stuff on top of all the cash I was withdrawing. It made me feel better when the realization of the live I was leading, was setting in.

This weekend wasn’t a shopping spree of guilt or feeling better. It was actually a grown-up task (if you want to call it that). It was like I was living on my own doing the weekly or monthly shopping of essentials before I go home to my place and just hang.

Don’t get me wrong. I am incredibly happy living with my parents. There was a time last year I told them I would move out. If they want me to, I would go. My heroin addiction was ripping the family apart and I couldn’t stop it – not at the time. I would rather live on the street somewhere than do to my parents what I did to them daily.
Of course, had they allowed me to make that choice I would have been dead or in jail by now – guaranteed. Now, much more than ever I am glad that I am here with them.

Joining yesterday’s conversation about ending up a 40 year old bachelor, I would prefer not to be living with my parents either when I’m 40. That would just be a perfect picture, wouldn’t it! My cats, my parents and I – in one house. Again, my actions have set me back so much I won’t afford a place of my own anytime soon.

I love going shopping – even when I’m buying groceries. I’ve thought maybe it’s the people. I just love looking at them, especially the cute ones (hey, I’m human), trying to figure out their story - their life. Do they look at me – trying to figure out mine? Or maybe I like it because for that brief moment I am just like everybody else again!