Day 7 - "A week clean"

Thursday, 30 November 2006 - Day 7 - "A week clean"

I have, over the past few days, read my previous blogs a few times. It is amazingly therapeutic to read about what I’ve gone through and survived. They say in recovery that you must take one day at a time. Worry about staying clean today and tomorrow is tomorrow’s problem. Having a couple of days clean behind me, it is obviously becoming a much easier battle. I read the comments on my blogs throughout the day and they, more than anything else, gives me the strength throughout the day to continue with my recovery. Today I would like to thank all the people that read this blog and express their support and continue to offer me help. Without you I would not be celebrating ‘Day 7 – A week clean’.

Yesterday was, by far, one of the most challenging days for me. If you read the blog entry yesterday you would know that I was keeping a secret that I finally revealed yesterday. And while I can unfortunately not reveal the secret that shook my world so much, the affects are very much real and the repercussions still being felt by myself and the people around me. I also realize that keeping it so long made it far worse and regret not coming out with it earlier.

I face the day today with people still troubled about my past actions and disappointed by my sneakiness, betrayal and dishonesty. I confront the world with people “fed up” with my behavior and deaf to my explanations, excuses and apologies. But I’m sitting here much happier and confident that I have been in many months. My actions over the past week and especially yesterday relieved me somewhat from the clutches of addiction.

I realize that my downfall has also come at this point of my recovery many times. With this celebration I tend to forget sometimes that this is a problem that will never go away. I have used alcohol, dagga, ecstasy, acid, cocaine, kat, crack, pinks and heroin (take a breath) and only realize now that I am an addict and will never have control over any of it. Although this realization comes presumably a bit late in my life, I believe it is never too late to make the change and stop this cycle!