Day 83/6 – “Happy Valentine!”

Wednesday, 14 February 2007 – Day 83/6 – “Happy Valentine!”

Happy Valentines Day to all! This is not really a day I celebrate along with the rest of the world – being single and all but there is this festiveness in the air that just wants you to jump up and dance. And after my stunt last week I doubt I’ll be going dancing anytime in the next few weeks, but that’s the price you pay for stupidity, I guess.

Our office is moving in exactly a week. We are closing for three days and moving everything from the cabinets to the signs to the computers to the screws, so it is going to be hectic. The future of us all is still as unpredictable as a ‘M. Night Shyamalan’ movie which has everybody tense and stressed. On Monday the 26th of February I can finally relax a bit – with or without a job!

This past few weeks people have been asking me a lot how my parents and brother are doing and handling the recovery. Of course, the answer was different last week than it would be now. On my brother’s birthday last week it came out I used heroin. I felt terrible. For some reason I always drag him into it – unintentionally.

We had his birthday party on Saturday. One of our friends, also a recovering heroin addict, was also there. He has been clean for 4-5 years now and talking to him was probably one of the reasons I ended up so positive. The things I am going through or feeling, even the lapses, is something that happens to the strongest of people, even those that took the Rehab path, so I think I am still doing very well.

I especially want to say to my family sitting all the way across the country that I am doing pretty well and that they shouldn’t worry. It might not always seem that way and after weeks like last week, it might not look that way either, but believe me – I am making progress, I am getting better!