Day 85/8 – “The Usual Suspects”

Friday, 16 February 2007 – Day 85/8 – “The Usual Suspects”

I have come to the following conclusion. I live in a train station. At night I sleep walk and trains hit me. That must be why I feel like this every morning! This morning has been considerably bad. Feels like the Gau-train hit me last night. It takes me forever to get out bed and make myself presentable. The sad thing is I was just getting better before I took again.

When I asked everybody to send me questions I got an interesting one: “Do you ever think that your addiction and the reason why you, as an educated, intelligent, well-raised person even got involved in heroin, was because you have a self-destructive streak.” Well, that is surely one to ask my therapist when I get one.

The longest I was clean before I started my recovery was 8 days. On the 8th day after my test I took heroin. Then when my recovery started and things were just getting better, on day 18, after yet another test, I took heroin again. Just before reaching Day 60, while things were looking better – I used yet again. It is asif I sabotage my recovery each time. I obstruct my efforts, alienate my friends – and this all when I’m not even using heroin. Jeez… I do have some issues!

If you’ve asked to be added to the mailing list and I haven’t added you then please resend the request to tristanbailey@mailbox.co.za. My SPAM checker is a bit eager at times and the most innocent of e-mails gets thrown out. And if you send me an e-mail recently and I haven’t replied – I do apologize, my juggling of multi-tasking it seems isn’t back to normal yet.

And the question I asked two weeks back was, what is your favourite drug movie? The usual suspects popped their heads in the answers. I hope somebody will surprise me with a new one before Sunday! Enjoy the weekend my friends! Chat to you all soon!