Day 95/17 – “Where are you now?”

Monday, 26 February 2007 – Day 95/17 – “Where are you now?”


To my friend… before any of us were addicted!


Where are you now, my friend?
Why don’t you see me sitting here crying? Would your new friend even allow you to care? Look at me! Look at me! Please… I need to make you understand!

Where are you now my friend?
Someone is lying here next to me. Their green eyes remind me so much of you. They are hazed eyes, clouded eyes staring back at me. Hazed, yet not confused at all. The world seems so clear to him and so confusing to me in an apparent balancing effect. He has the flawed perspective of a perfect world and the theoretical equation to achieve it. Today he has all the answers and yet he has lost everything.

What are you feeling now, my friend?
Someone is lying here next to me. His experiences lies new to me now, to me forever. I feel closer to him now than anybody ever before, but nobody has ever been more of a stranger than he is to me now.

What are you hearing now, my friend?
Someone is lying here next to me, listening. But he can’t hear my pleads. He is listening to the calling of something much louder and stronger than I can ever be. Shall I try harder, shall I scream on the top of my lungs or shall I prepare myself for the inevitable “I told you so!”

Will I ever see you again or will this stranger be my new company? Will we ever be friends again or have you replaced me with hurriedly hurting heroin.

Where are you now, my friend?