Day 23/5 - "My friend"

Saturday, 16 December 2006 - Day 23/5 - "My friend"

The name of the restaurant hasn’t changed but the look is completely different. I’m so excited standing in the new entrance that looks like a scene from a restaurant in Cape Town or Johannesburg. The waiter shows us to our table, it could seat at least 6 people but for now it is only us two: two friends who haven’t seen each other in ages, two friends here to enjoy an afternoon together like nothing bad ever happened.

My friends are one of the biggest things I’ve missed. I’ve always found it relatively easy to make new friends wherever I went and the friends I made were generally very important to me. But I met another friend along the way and he promised me a lot of things, as I got to know him better I neglected all my other friends. The only thing important to me, the only thing that was worthy of my attention – was my friend heroin.

Having said goodbye to that imposter, now, I realize how much hurt I caused my real friends. Countless of them disappeared because they didn’t want to be friends with a heroin addict. There were a few that waited for me to change my life around, supporting me - even though I didn’t always want their help. One of those friends phoned me today and asked if we could spend the day together. There were certain conditions to the outing, of course, but my parents gave their consent. I was over the moon, being able to go out for the first time in ages.

It was a long, eventful and wonderful today. I was finally seeing hints of a person that I used to be - a funky, bubbly, optimistic someone that loved to spend time with his friends and that loved to go out to different places. I got to meet some new friends, see my old ones and catch up on the old times.

I realized today, just how much I’ve missed. All these people were going on with their lives while I was busy destroying mine. I had so much to catch up on. I lost a whole lot of friends and whole lot of time in the process. A few of my friends I let go willingly because of their association with heroin, others left me because of my association with it. But I am grateful that a few stuck around for this… making new friends with them and having fun while doing it!