Day 331/2 – “The ladder to sobriety”

My Heroin Recovery (Sunday, 21 October 2007)
Day 331/2 – “The ladder to sobriety”

It is Day 2. My blog has been quiet for a few weeks – now you know why! I had some pre-written blogs prepared but I decided to delete them because I didn’t want to post blatant lies. Even these entries will only be posted once I am sure it isn’t just a Day 1, Day 2 and then heroin again! So… I sincerely hope they get posted during this week!

I’ve had a lot of time to think over the past few days. I’ve blamed everything from medicine to work to stress and boredom to justify just another hit but in the end I know it is just excuses. I had two of the toughest weeks at the office – weeks I never want to relive again. It has made it so much harder to even try and stop – but the honest truth is – I wouldn’t have even, if it was smooth sailing.

The worst anger from my parents has died down and they are talking to me again. The screaming from the past few days and nights have stopped. I don’t think they are less angry but their true character shines thru because they are more worried. Worried that their stupid son is slowly killing himself. And even through the anger and the worry they still shown compassion when I am at my downest moment. They are truly better people than I can ever hope to be!

Sundays are always more depressing than other days. I have hardly eaten and still don’t have my appetite back. I’ve hardly been out of bed this weekend and tomorrow I have to work again. Not just sit in an office – but actually work. Right now… I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get through it... any of it!