"Day 15 in Rehab"

Friday, 23 May 2008
Rehab - "Day 15 in Rehab"
Rehab, 15 April 2008...

Should I stay a week longer? Since realizing on Friday night that I’ve hardly done any work on myself in the clinic I’ve thought about the idea a lot. When I booked into the clinic they told me I could extend my stay with a week if I chose to and that a lot of heroin patients did it. Since this weekend I seem to be having one bad day after the other. Even last night was a complete disaster…

Lights out on a week day is 22:00 and everybody needs to be in bed by then to take their medication. Julius (the one that accused us of smoking weed) moved into my room a few days back and he has been distributive every night since then. Last night he couldn’t sleep and decided to run up and down the halls, talking to people, laughing and singing. I lay in bed trying to fall asleep, repeatedly asking him to stop, but after 2 hours of listening to it I couldn’t take it anymore. I took my blanket and went downstairs to sleep in one of the other rooms.

The only room available downstairs was one of the Sedation wards. There was one bed available in a room full of snoring men. I weighed my options and decided to stay in the room where at least some kind of rhythmic noise was going on and not the random racket by Julius. I lay in the bed for about an hour unable to fall asleep and finally went to the lie on the couch in the foyer. Eventually I fell asleep there but hardly got 4 hours sleep in the end.

Michael (the sexy one), one of my best friends in the clinic left today. We were ‘shower and bed buddies’ which sounds much kinkier than it actually was. Every night roughly the same time we would take showers and then go to bed and tell each other about what we did before we got here, how we got here and what our plans were for the future. Since I felt so bad and just wanted to be in bed the past few days, these conversations kept me from just sulking.

When I finally went to bed saying goodbye to another dreadful day I was leaning towards staying longer. My mind was not where it should be!