“Put your hands up in the air"

Monday, 2 June 2008
Current Recovery – “Put your hands up in the air"
Saturday, 31 May 2008…

When I first got out of rehab I avoided club music for a while, even certain radio stations like 5fm was never switched on. Every time I heard even one song that reminded me of my clubbing days I had nightmares during the night about taking again. So, when I stood in the middle of the dance floor on Saturday night listening to heavy electro tunes blaring through the speakers, flashing lights gleaming through the smoky air and surrounded by drug addicts I couldn’t help but smile!

Perhaps the grin was at the irony at having a room full of drug addicts dancing to the latest tunes – and all of them clean and sober! Of course, they were recovering addicts – some of them with only one day clean and others with over 12 years. The point was I was there. I listened to the music and danced like I would in any other club on any substance and I went to bed and had an absolutely brilliant night of sleep.

I attended my very first NA Convention on Saturday and Sunday. It was one of the greatest experiences of my life, hearing the stories of so many people. I gained so much knowledge and direction from a group of people I really admire. I wish I could go into detail but since it is anonymous I’ll leave it at that.

I shared something at the convention aswell. I’m a much better writer than I am a speaker so I was really nervous talking over a microphone. I said then what I’ll repeat to anybody at any time. I am proud to be who I am. I am proud to be an addict in recovery. I am leading such a fulfilling life now and this is only the beginning. I get to go to such wonderful places and meet people and all without the use of drugs.

The dance floor is risky, some people at the Convention with many many years of sobriety avoided it. I don’t know if I can ever go back to an environment where people are dancing around me and all of them are high. I don’t even know if I want to. But at least I know I can enjoy a good song and dare to dance along to it without grabbing the phone to phone the dealer.